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Miles of Grease​/​Sergio Leone

from Croydon Tourist Office Are Electric by Croydon Tourist Office

/

about

During lockdown, Bryce and Max sent some samples and loops they had made back and forth to each other to see what sort of sound collages they could make. Robert was inspired to craft two spoken word performance for each distinct section.

lyrics

She sells seashells on the seashore
The seashore is
Littered with hundreds
Thousands of seashells
Turn around Sheryl
Look at them
Why would I buy seashells from Dee
When there’s loads of them just
Deposited by the sea
It’s for the tourists
She replied

I went to a café and asked
For a black coffee
Sat at a Formica table
The salt and pepper packets
Were kept in upturned seashells
From the beach
I asked
No the waitress said
From Sheryl
They’re hand picked and quality controlled
She brushes all the crud out with a toothbrush
They’re good seashells mind
Black coffee wasn’t it
Do you want milk with that

Absentmindedly
The waitress poured milk
In my coffee
And then an Argos delivery lorry pulled up
Blocking the view of Sheryl
Yet again
I thought it was about time I went and
Lived
Somewhere else

Oh yes
That sounds good
Yep
Here we go then
Ready
Yep
All right then
Not too bad not too bad

Honest is the best policy
Don’t matter if your car has been towed
Honest is the best policy
It doesn’t matter if you’re on the road
Honest is the best policy
Doesn’t matter what you’ve been owed
Honest is the best policy
Oh my god my car’s been towed

Have you ever been up to the big far north
Oh my god it’s cold
Have you ever been up to the big far north
I’d go but I’m getting too old
Have you ever been up to
Oh my
The tundra
You seen it there
It melts you know
It gets too warm
Don’t want it too warm up there

Honest is the best policy
Don’t matter if your car has been towed
Honest is the best policy
Doesn’t matter how much you’ve been owed
Honest is the best policy
If you’re standing in the middle of the road
Honest is the best policy
This is my ode

Watching the northern lights
Watching them
Watching the northern lights upstairs

I say Jack
Would you care for this dance
I know it’s getting late
But we’ve both been here for quite awhile
That makes us both losers I guess
We’re the last ones standing
I might go up to the bar in a minute
Ask for a nice cup of tea

No need to scowl sonny boy
It’s only a dance
Take my hand now

Honest is the best policy
Don’t matter if your car has been towed
Honest is the best policy
Doesn’t matter how much you’ve been owed
Honest is the best policy
This is my ode

Jack
Where are you going
What do you mean you’ve got a bus to catch
Just go outside
There’s a
Northern lights
Jack
Jack

credits

from Croydon Tourist Office Are Electric, released January 16, 2023
Robert: Vocals
Max: Samples, synths & drum machines
Bryce: Samples, bass & vocals

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about

Croydon Tourist Office image

Croydon Tourist Office England, UK

Croydon Tourist Office came together from a series of music writing and production workshops at Epicentre Book Cafe in Paignton, England.

The line up varies based on who is at the session or the gig, but the core members are Robert Garnham, Bryce Dumont, John Samuel, and Max Coulson. ... more

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